Vol 3 iss 5

Spring is here! The fragrance of the flowers just about knocks me out, and every time I hear that little birdy say “beeeeeeee boop” I just grin. May you have increased auditory and olfactory senses this time of year! But if it knocks you out – then I hope you land in a field of clover.

I had them most interesting experience last week. I met a long past acquaintance for lunch and she asked me about things she couldn’t possibly have known about. Well, she’s a newsletter subscriber. (Thank you, Theresa!) Then, I met a colleague for dinner that very evening and it came out in our conversation that she’s a subscriber too (Thank you, Victoria!).

I am thankful for all my subscribers. You land in my gratitude journal more than you realize. Big things are on the horizon for my website and newsletter and I’d really like to hear from you regarding your likes and dislikes about this newsletter. Please take a minute to follow this link and respond to my quick survey.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=21582101378

I’ve arranged it to be anonymous (unless you prefer to add your name at the end) so please be completely honest with me.

Spring time is a wonderful time to reassess and start new habits to keep your integrity in alignment. It’s a time of growth and nurturing, and a time to plant new seeds. Please let me know how I can support you in your new ventures.

Have you ever had the experience of promising a friend that you would pick them up at a certain time, and you were late? How about promising a loved one you would be available for their special event and something else got in your way? Of course you have.

And how about promising yourself that you would start exercising on Monday morning before work come rain or shine, and then you slept too late to fit it in? Or promising yourself that you would take a few hours off on Saturday and just curl up with a book and you ended up at the grocery store instead?

Whether you make a promise to others, or make a promise to yourself, the issue is the same – integrity. Integrity is when your intentions and your actions match, and it really starts with how you manage your promises to yourself.

For example, imagine that you and your friend are meeting for coffee. Your friend has just done you a favor and you decided in advance to surprise them by picking up the check as a thank you. When the bill arrives, your friend’s triple mocha latte and exotic sweet were much more expensive than the cup of tea you had. So you let the check sit there.

So what’s going through your mind? Well, first, you think a little less of the other person – after all, look at all those calories – you don’t want to support that kind of lifestyle. And you begin to feel a little more noble – after all you only had tea, with no sweetener. And the more you think about it, the more you realize you work really hard for your money and you don’t want to waste it on someone who doesn’t take care of themself. In the final moment, you pay for your tea, your friend pays their part of the tab, and you part ways with your promise left in the bottom of the teacup with the dregs.

You have actually shifted your relationship with your friend. There’s a tad bit of resentment toward them that just wasn’t there before. Magnify that by a zillion little decisions and you could end up tainting a perfectly good relationship all because you didn’t keep a promise to yourself.

We judge ourselves by our intentions; others judge us by our actions. Every time we fail to keep a promise to ourselves, to honor our intentions, it puts us out of integrity. Every time you keep a promise, you are building the integrity muscle – no matter how small that promise is.

If you intend to exercise regularly, then do it even if it’s for only 5 minutes at a time. As you make frequency a habit, you can lengthen the time and/or intensity later. (That’s a different promise to keep.) You’re always losing your keys? Promise yourself that you will put them in the same spot everyday, and then do it.

Sometimes it helps to create reminders for yourself. Sticky notes are great for that – on your dashboard, on your mirror, on the door jamb right in front of your nose. Change the locations occasionally so you don’t go blind to them.

Did you know if you change your behavior for 28 days, you’ve created a new habit? Here’s a handy form to help you keep track of the habits you want to change:

http://www.forwardmomentum.com/client_area/10_daily_habits.pdf

Name 10 habits that you would like to create for yourself and at the end of the day, score your results. Did you do it, or not? How many out of 10 did you complete? What pattern shows up for you? This is a great way to create awareness around the promises that you make to yourself.

Another way to stay on track is to be accountable to someone else. Have someone that you report to regularly who will encourage you to stick with it. (This is where having a coach really pays off!)

When you live in integrity, life is so much simpler. Notice I didn’t say easy. Living in integrity can be quite difficult, especially when you have to face your shortcomings and rectify them. But when all is said and done, when your intentions and your actions match, life is good. All is well.

September 14, 2006 - Panel on Baby Boomers Issues Around Retirement

More details to follow as they become available.

You are free to use material from Moving Forward! in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including a live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Debra DeVilbiss, CPCC, of Forward Momentum, LLC. Please visit Debra's website at http://www.ForwardMomentum.com for additional articles and resources on creating your right livelihood."

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