Vol 3 Iss 2

I'm back from my trip to my Mom's in Louisana. She is such a hoot. I had the nerve to beat her at cards 4 times in a row. We played one more hand where she beat me, then she put the cards away and we didn't play again. Too funny!

Today is my grandson's 5th birthday. I find it so amazing that he is already so world-wise. He started using the TV remote as a pretend cell phone before he could even stand. Now his younger brother who just turned 2 is doing the same thing. When I called to wish him Happy Birthday, he kept up a decent conversation for over 5 mintues.

Watching the Grand Boys grow up is a reminder of the stages that people go through, as children and as adults. The terrible twos are in full force in one, and the sweet, loving 5-year-old attitude in the other.

What's interesting, too, is watching myself enter into a new phase of my life. Now that I've hit mid-life, I'm infused with an energy to go out and create. I feel like I'm just coming into my stride. So much to accomplish in my lifetime. Good thing I plan to live to 100!

I talked to a travel agent the other day who didn't want to be reminded it was her birthday. I asked if she had turned 50 yet. She said no, but it was only a few years away. Little does she know how powerful and exciting that time can be. I'll talk more about entering a new life stage in the article below.

For now, I'm scheduling time to talk to professors about grad school and assembling my application for a higher level of coach certification (Professional Certified Coach, PCC). This is a big deal to coaches and you can check it out on the International Coach Federation website:

http://www.coachfederation.org

My thanks go out to my clients who offered to write letters of recommendation. As it turns out, the letters need to come from senior coaches who have heard me coach. Thankfully, that part is done and all I have left is to assemble and submit the paperwork. I'll let you know when it comes through!

So enjoy the rest of the month and please let me know how things are going for you.

I remember my brother-in-law had a T-shirt that read "It's my mid-life and I'll crisis if I want to!" How classic is it for a man to turn 40 and go out and buy a red sports car? The quintessential "mid-life crisis." Well, thankfully, he didn't do that, but many lasting changes happen at the point we turn "restless and discontent."

What's happening is a "little death." Something in us shifts. We are bored, restless, short-tempered - like a snake shedding it's skin. All itchy and squirmy because the skin we've worn all these years doesn't fit any more. And it's hard to see, too. Our eyes are clouded over so we mis-interpret cues and over react. We get really self-destructive here, taking any substance we turn to for comfort (cigarettes, sugar, caffiene, work, alcohol, TV, etc.) and ramping up our intake to the point of physical harm.

Sometimes it can actually be a death that triggers your crisis. The death of a loved one, a marriage, a stable job at a company you've been at for a long while. It can be the death of a life where you've lived in the same house and now you're suddenly forced to move because your spouse got a transfer. The "little death" can show up in myriad ways, but it is unmistakable because it's really not very pleasant. And you're not either.

It's no wonder that people go for the quick fix to make the feeling go away. You get laid off from one company and you take the same job at another company. You get divorced, then a year later you're remarried. You finish years of redecorating your house, then sell it and start redecorating a new one. (I know someone that did exactly that.)

But, the quick fix fades quickly, and you're left with that same empty feeling. What to do?

Well, first off, hire a coach (Me!) because now is the time to start digging into yourself to discover what your next step will look like. My sense is that many of my readers are exactly in this place, whether working with a coach or trusted friend, or going it alone. My theory is that 85% of the self-help books are bought by people at this stage. (And the other 15% are bought by those who want to write one!)

The best thing you can do right now is to spend time observing yourself, noticing when you are energized and when you are depleted. Get into nature and try to find water to sit by. Seek solitude away from noise. Use creativity to access the other side of your brain - journal, draw, dance, work with clay, etc. Get your feelings on paper without regard to censorship. Really take a good look at yourself and your life because now's your chance to do things differently.

And know this: it doesn't last forever. You are in the midst of an adult transition and it is a natural and healthy place to be. Imagine if a two-year-old never turned three. It's the same tragedy that would occur if a 40-year-old didn't turn 50. Everyone must walk their own path.

What you are seeking is renewal. You will find it within yourself. Some people have an "aha!" moment and their lives are changed, others fall into it through happenstance, and yet others just get bored with all the contemplation and go find something interesting to do.

And when that skin finally sloughs all the way off - who will you be?

Learn the process of discovering your next career step whether it's a different job or a brand new career. We'll look at defining what work suits you best, look at various job search strategies, and develop action plans. You'll learn how to research and approach the companies you'll be happiest working for and how to network to find that company.

Highland Hills Parks & Rec

April 15 and April 22, 2006

We are living longer than any time in the history of mankind, and we are retiring at an average age of 57. What in the world will you do with the next 30 years? Learn the areas of life that will need attention in your retirement. It's not all about money!

Highland Hills Parks & Rec

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"By Debra DeVilbiss, CPCC, of Forward Momentum, LLC. Please visit Debra's website at http://www.ForwardMomentum.com for additional articles and resources on creating your right livelihood."

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