Vol 2 Iss 1

We're beginning a new year, and I'm beginning a new format for this newsletter. My schedule is very full now and I've decided to honor my own transtions by cutting down to one issue per month rather than two.

So, look for Moving Forward! in your in-box the first Monday of each month. I'm also changing the content a little by including a relevant quote instead of a poem. Please let me know how you like the changes. And if you run across an interesting quote, please forward it to me. You never know what will inspire us.

If you like what you read, please forward it to a friend.

Every positive change — every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness — involves a rite of passage. Each time to ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation.

A Dutch anthropologist named Arnold van Gennep first coined the term "rites of passage." He noticed that each ceremonial occasion fell into one of three phases that he called separation, transition and incorporation.

During separation, the person (or group) was separated from familiar surroundings and put through a symbolic death experience. It might mean kidnapping all the boys of the village and covering their faces with ash to make them deathly white before leaving them alone in the wilderness.

Here, alone, they passed through a "neutral zone," an empty space between the old way of being and the new way of being: transition. This was often attained by fasting, sleep deprivation or physical challenge which brought about a state of mind open to visions.

Finally, when the necessary inner changes were made, the person (or group) was reintegrated into the tribal social order on a new basis: incorporation. They might return to a naming ceremony that re-named them into their new roles. Or return to a new dwelling. It's a completely new life.

Of course, our western world does not require us to transition suddenly from childhood to adulthood in a few short days. We have a little more time, and a transition can come at different stages of your life.

If you look back in your own life, I know you will find times of transtion in your life. It might have been between your 28th and 32nd year. Many life changing decisions are made at that time. You might have made a major decision to relocate, you might have cleaned up your act by going off drugs and/or alcohol, you might have finally landed the job that fit, or found your mate.

Think about that transition and compare it to the phases of a rite of passage and see if there are some parallels. Now, think about the change you want to bring about in your life right now. How can you use this learning to facilitate that change?

Separation: What are ways you can separate yourself from your current situation? How can you create a ritual that would be a symbolic death experience? Sometimes just getting away for a day or so can allow amazing space to create change. It works best if you can make a complete break. Go someplace that disorients you, not the comfortable cabin you go to every summer. The point is to create a symbolic death experience, not take a short vacation.

Transition: This is the phase that takes the longest. It may be that you've already had your "little death" by separation from your job, or the end of a relationship, or a relocation that caused you to sever important ties.

Here is where 95% of all self-help books are bought and read. Your job here is to peel back the layers and find the grain in your own wood. The work of introspection is not always fun. You face things about yourself that are not very pleasant, and you realize that your expectations might have been unrealistic.

Find a way to process your thoughts. Journaling, writing poetry, making music, dancing, artwork, crafts, needlework. The list goes on and on. Find a way to express what is true for you.

It's important in this phase, also, to take really good care of yourself. When we're under stress, we tend to unconsciously adopt self-destructive behaviors. Whatever our favorite vice, we take it to excess: TV, alcohol, cigarettes, sugar, caffiene - even "noble" things like retreating into our cave, giving to or helping others and, working hard. Any positive taken to an extreme becomes a negative.

Incorporation: After you have gone through a true transition, people treat you differently. Because you are different. Your expectations are different, and your behavior is different. It's an amazing thing that I hope you will experience.

If you need a partner through any of these phases, or just want to brainstorm ways that you can create positive change in your life, please contact me. You deserve to have a beautiful productive life!

I have begun a new teaching relationship with Hyland Hills Recreation District in Westminster, Colorado. They have a long-standing program of offering quality classes to their public and I'm honored to be a part of it. To find out more about Hyland Hills and their programs, and how to register, click here .

Help! I Need a Different Job

Saturday April 16 and Saturday April 23, 2005, 9:00 to 11:00 am

Learn the process of discovering your next career step, whether it's a different job or a brand new career. We'll look at defining what work suits you best, job search strategies, and action plans. You'll learn how to research and approach the companies you'll be happiest working for and how to network to find that company.

The Un-Retirement Landscape

Saturday April 2, 2005, 9:00 to 11:00 am

We are living longer than any time in the history of mankind, and we are retiring at an average age of 57. What in the world will you do with the next 30 years? Learn the areas of life that will need attention in your retirement. It's not all about money!

For the full listing of workshops, visit www.forwardmomentum.com.

You are free to use material from Moving Forward! in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including a live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Debra DeVilbiss, CPCC, of Forward Momentum, LLC. Please visit Debra's website at http://www.ForwardMomentum.com for additional articles and resources on creating your right livelihood."

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