Vol 1 Iss 8

Today, as I write, the sky is dripping. Around here, they call this rain. In Colorado, you rarely get "real" rain the way you do in Lousiana where I was born. I'll never forget the first time I noticed it raining in Colorado and nothing was wet. It evaporated before it reached the ground. You could smell it, you noticed a slight dampness, but... no rain.

Does change in your life ever feel like that? It's near and you know it's happening, but there is no physical representation of it in sight. We're experiencing that with planning our move. We've contacted realtors in the mountain area where we want to relocate, but have only actually seen one home. We've talked to a couple of realtors to list our home here, but haven't signed on the dotted line. Yet... change is in the works. It's in the air...

What change is in the air for you?

When Change Doesn't Happen Soon Enough!

Where did we get this idea that there is a little clock that measures how quickly something must happen? If I make "X" effort, "Y" result will occur within THIS time frame. Sort of sounds silly when you say it like that, but isn't that what's going on in the back of our minds?

You make an effort and don't see a result, then the little voice starts in. You know the one... it reminds you of every shortcoming, of everything you've ever failed at, of every character flaw you could possibly have. It can keep you awake at night and it can keep you stuck.

Coaches call this voice the Gremlin, Buddhists call it Monkey Mind and therapists call it the Inner Critic or Inner Judge. It's been around a long time. As a matter of fact, your Gremlin is perfectly suited to your particular vulnerabilities because you've been training it for years. Ever since the first time your Mom said No!, it's been sending messages to you keeping you "in line."

The Gremlin is not a bad thing. It's there to help you stay safe, and whatever is in place at this very moment, whether it is good for you or not, is safe. So, Gremlins don't like change. When you want to make a change, especially to live your values more fully, the Gremlin kicks in high gear.

Gremlin characteristics are the same as that of a 9-11 year old. It wants to stay out of trouble, it wants to get what it deserves, and it wants to make itself right and others wrong.

You know the messages in your mind are from the Gremlin by noticing how you feel. Gremlin messages are not spacious, there is no generousity of spirit. When the messages are from your Higher Self, or whatever you call that still small voice of wisdom, the feeling is different. You feel more empowered, open and willing.

Noticing the Gremlin messages is an important step in helping you realize your goals. They are often so much a part of our daily life that we don't even realize they are there, or that we listen to them. For some some ideas on how to discover your Gremlin messages and how they impact your career change, see the Career Tip below.

As a Career Coach, I can be your partner through this process. Please contact me at debra@forwardmomentum.com for more information!

The Nazi within me thinks it's time to take charge.

The world's a mess; people are crazy.

The Nazi within me wants windows shut tight,

new locks put on the doors. There's too much

fresh air, too much coming and going.

The Nazi within me wants more respect. He wants

the only TV camera, the only bank account,

the only really pretty girl. The Nazi within me

wants to be boss of traffic and traffic lights.

People drive too fast; they take up too much space.

The Nazi within me thinks people are getting away

with murder. He wants to be the boss of murder.

He wants to be boss of bananas, boss of white bread.

The Nazi within me wants uniforms for everyone.

He wants them to wash their hands, sit up straight,

pay strict attention. He wants to make certain

they say yes when he says yes, no when he says no.

He imagines everybody sitting in straight chairs,

people all over the world sitting in straight chairs.

Are you ready? he asks them. They say they are ready.

Are you ready to be happy? he asks them. They say

they are ready to be happy. The Nazi within me wants

everyone to be happy but not too happy and definitely

not noisy. No singing, no dancing, no carrying on.

Being unconscious about your Gremlin is a great way to keep things the same. With the voice in your head going on all the time, you tend to believe it speaks the truth. It says "You can't work at doing something you love!" and you believe it. It says "You're Too _________!" And you believe it. Baloney!

You don't have to believe everything you hear. Would you trust the judgement of a 9 - 11 year old? Just because it's in your head doesn't mean it's the truth. The key is to hear it in the first place.

So, the first step toward keeping your Gremlin at bay is to pay attention to what you tell yourself. Attention is always the first step to any kind of significant change. What is really going on? What I'm asking you to do is to simply notice. That doesn't mean asking WHY OH WHY AM I THIS WAY? When you do that, you are thinking about what you think. Awareness is simply noticing what is going on without judgement.

Next, begin to develop awareness around your habits and automatic reactions. Left unchecked, they will run your life. Automatic reactions surface in conjunction with emotions. They don't involve the voice in your head and they don't involve thinking. Automatic reactions are just that - automatic. Again, no judgement, simply notice.

Habits are gounded in fear. At one time your action was rooted in a very good cause, it probably protected you in some way. For example, a habit of my partner is to have a "sweetie" every night before bed. Something like cookies and milk or a piece of cake. He started doing this at the age of 6 to comfort himself during a really rough childhood. That habit does not serve him now. Habits can be explained, but again, that's thinking about thinking. Your first order of business is to just notice them. Without judgement.

As you continue to notice, it's useful to record the messages and when they show up. Perhaps journaling about them will help bring them to light. Putting the Gremlin under the spotlight does two things. First, it gives it the attention it craves, so it calms down a bit. And second, it helps you realize your separateness. Your Gremlin is not you.

Believing the Gremlin voice will prevent you from creating a life that is fulfilling and from creating work that serves you and the world. It is there to keep you the same ~ and if that's what you wanted, you wouldn't be reading this newsletter!

If you'd like deeper wisdom about the Gremlin, Richard Carson has written a book called Taming Your Gremlin: A Guide to Enjoying Yourself.

Let me know how it goes for you!

What is Un-Retirement? It's a new definition of retirement. Fueled by the Baby Boomers, who never sat still for anything, un-retirement is a time of passion and purpose. Rather than retiring to a prolonged life of leisure, the "Un-Retired" transition to a purposeful life of contribution and meaning.

Un-Retirement is a time to re-invent your life!

The Un-Retirement Coaching Program helps you plan for your retirement by offering an on-line self-assessment to measure your readiness to retire. It provides a detailed personal assessment of your current personal strengths and areas you may want to focus your attention on when planning for your new future, and the on-going support of a coach.

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The average age of retirement in the U.S. is 57 years old. People are retiring at a younger age and in better health than ever before. These days, especially with adequate planning, this can be a time that brings enrichment, personal fulfillment and renewal.

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For schedules and to sign up, visit http://www.ForwardMomentum.com

You are free to use material from Moving Forward! in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including a live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Debra DeVilbiss, CPCC, of Forward Momentum, LLC. Please visit Debra's website at http://www.ForwardMomentum.com for additional articles and resources on creating your right livelihood."

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